Wednesday, February 17, 2010

keeping perspective

Last Thursday was a hard day. It started out that way. So I let Kiddo watch "the dress movie" (Cinderella) so I could take a shower. I've learned that being clean does a lot for my state of mind.

When I finished my shower it was clear that Kiddo had been by to check on me, because the bathroom door was open. This had some unfortunate consequences, primarily that when I opened the shower, all the steam rushed out of the room, setting off the smoke detector. This was bad news all around. Of course it upset my child. She wanted to be near me, but I needed to be near the smoke detector so I could turn it off. And of course I had to find something to wear before I dealt with the smoke detector, and a chair to stand on, because we have high ceilings, so I can't reach otherwise. And my reach is slightly reduced by the basketball I carry in my abdomen. I am still not sure if I can reach the detector, because it finally turned off just before I had to try. After that, the good influences of the shower were gone, and I had a good cry.

After a little wallow in self-pity, I decided that if I could just get something meaningful accomplished, I could snap out of it. Since we only had three (business) days left to get the car inspected, I decided that would be my task. I figured out where to do it, packed a bag for my child and I, bundled us up, and headed out the door. I walked the block and a half to our car, went to open the door, and got it about three inches open before it hit the huge mound of snow piled on both sides. I had convinced myself in the safety of my house that I was capable of digging the car out. Now I was confronted with the fact that I could not dig out my car by myself. I couldn't even open the door to get the scraper out, let alone clear it off while watching Kiddo play in the snow. So we turned around, and leisurely returned to the house, nothing accomplished.

(I did call my husband though, and he came home from work to clean off the car, so it did get inspected, and so that's taken care of. We couldn't put it off because of the various holidays between then and when the inspection was due. And he did make us dinner while I was off getting the car inspected.)

Kiddo and I returned to house in time to make lunch. And since it was a bad day, everything was hard. She was whining to me about something, and finally I looked at her, and with tears in my eyes said "Kiddo, I've got about this much to give today" illustrating how much that was with my thumb and pointer finger about three inches apart. "And you need this much" I continued, spreading my arms wide.

Her little angelic face lit up, and she threw her arms wide open too. She read my actions as an invitation for a big hug, and was quick to take me up on it. So I obliged. My day didn't get much better, but I at least remembered what was important, and all that (family) was fine.