Sunday, July 13, 2008

i miss her already


My daugher finally took a bottle for real yesterday. Instead of chewing on the nipple, she actually sucked, and took down 7 ounces. The plan is to slowly wean her. She seems less interested in eating from me any way, and well, it just seems like a good idea. But, until yesterday, this was a theoretical discussion, because she still wouldn't take a bottle. Now that she has, I feel an amazing sense of loss - and freedom - and loss - and freedom...

I spent the rest of the day feeling vaguely out of sorts, and finally in the evening realized it is because I miss her already. I miss the intimate connection, and the sense that I was doing something for her that only I can do. Now I feel replaceable - but my husband assures me I am not.
On the flip side - I was able to go to my stake meetings today without her, which made it a lot easier to pay attention. And, today she was completly not interested in the bottle, so I still have a job yet.

2 comments:

le said...

Ah, yes I remember the amazing I feel an amazing sense of loss - and freedom. After my kid weaned himself, I wanted to cry because that meant I could go on vacation without him and he would survive. Then I went to California, 3 months later, and how wonderful it was for his surrogate grandma (Brent's bestfriend's mom) to watch him for many many many hours without me, while I lived the high life in all the nice parts of the Bay Area. At all the fancy restaurants Utah would never have in a million years. Not that I'm advocating weaning or anti weaning, just telling two different stories. I was sad for over a month that I could go on vacation without my son, now almost 2 years have past and I still have never done it.

StevenKatie said...

I had similar feelings when I stopped nursing. I guess that is normal...who knows.