Kiddo is learning about agency, that she has it, and more importantly, that it allows her to make different choices than I do. This means that our life is filled with a lot of throwing oneself on the floor (her mostly, only occasionally is it me too). I am blessed beyond measure that only rarely is this accompanied by loud yelling.
For example, today we needed to move the car (for the street sweepers to come through) and so I decided to go to the store too. Kiddo would not go to the potty first, put on clothes, or whatever needed to happen to leave the house. She instead laid on the floor and told me she would just take a little nap. I picked her up and moved her to the bathroom, and then her room to get dressed. It was really frustrating, because it happens all the time.
Like later in the afternoon when I suggested we go to the park. She countered with "on your tricycle?" I agreed. I then said, "okay, we just need to go to the bathroom and put on pants." She chose to flop on the floor and ignore my pleas to get ready to go. After a few minutes of trying to convince her, I said fine. And I chose not to force her to go to the park on her tricycle.
Baby's struggling today too. She wants to feed very often, and isn't great at eating (although miles better than her sister, so I know it could be worse) so feeding all the time isn't so fun for either of us. And when she wants to eat all the time it means she's sleeping poorly.
As we drove to the store I thought about the wrestles I am having with my children, and once again prayed to know how to help them through them, or really, how to fix the problems. And I had a thought, that must actually be inspiration, that some behaviors are not to be fixed, but are to be lived through.
I can be sure that in ten years Kiddo will not throw herself to the floor when we leave the house. (It's also possible that I won't have to remind her to use the restroom, but that may need to wait 15 years.) I can be pretty sure that in the not too distant future many of her behaviors that drive me crazy right now will be gone (to be replaced with other insanity inducing behaviors, which will also be temporary). I can guarantee that in one year Baby will not be having the same eating struggles. And given how time flies, these problems will be in the past before I know it.
Which is why when Kiddo started wailing at the dinner table, crying "Mama will pitchu [pick you] up!" I did, and held her in my lap. Because I know that before I'm ready to, she will no longer want to sit there.
The secret will be in discerning what should be lived through, and what needs intervention. So I'm sure I will still be praying.
