It is possible that I'm not up for all of my child's desired adventures. Perhaps the mess is too big, or I'm too tired, or maybe I just don't want to play. So I tell her, "No, that's something we do with Daddy, and you can do it with him when he gets home."The first few times, she would ask over and over, until she finally believed that we were waiting. The next few times it successfully put off whatever activity it was that I was avoiding. But the catch was that she always remembered. So Daddy got bombarded at the door with "Daddy's home, now we can ... " with no other preamble. As I watched this situation unfold, I learned I also had to specify that it would happen when he got home, after we had dinner.
Now I can put anything off for any length of time, I just have to know that she'll remember. She may not mention the desired activity once from the time I say later to whenever later is, but moments before later happens, she announces: Now we get to...
So it's only a temporary reprieve.
***
The other side of this is that sometimes I just say no. Then she'll repeat the request as if I hadn't said anything. So I'll say no again. And she'll ask again. This time I'll say with some frustration "What did I just say?" "I don't know," she'll reply without guile. She only listens for yes, and later.
