What do you see in this picture? A beautiful 14 month old, with overly long bangs? With a sweet smile, anxious to use a spoon, but still using hands because they're often easier? An adorable not-quite-baby? Yeah.I see an impish grin, of a very small girl who is getting her own way again by sitting in an adult chair, and the family table, because she wouldn't eat in her booster chair, and insistently threw all her food off her tray, and signed that she wanted out until I let her out. She immediately started eating once conditions were more to her liking. I see a girl who tends to be difficult, and make trouble. Her daddy and I often emerge from interactions with her with a big sigh, and the comment (or at least the thought) she's going to give us some trouble as she grows up. I see the impish grin on her face in every picture I have of her within the last two months.
And I don't want to expect this from her, and thus create a somewhat self-fulfilling prophecy. I don't want to expect a fight from her, because I've seen how kids grow into their expectations, whether they are positive or negative. No matter how oblivious you think a child may be, she senses and responds to what you think you'll get. If those expectations are negative, it will slowly weigh down the child. We may already struggle but I don't want to pigeon-hole my daughter into being a troublemaker.
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The other day, she brought me our board book about Jesus. She has always been attracted to this book. I mused about how she seems drawn to spiritual things. She has started pointing out her picture of Jesus, so I can respond "Yes, that's Jesus. He loves you very much." (She points a second time if I skip the second sentence.) As I thought about my impression that she is drawn to spiritual things I thought: That is a pigeon hole I can live with.
