long term to do list

We have a list of things we'd like to get around to doing, but usually don't because we're busy doing the short term to-do items (e.g., feed children, get them to school, buy groceries) or the crisis items (are those termites? let's call a pest control person).

But last Saturday, for Babs' first day as a well person, we weren't ready to do big activities, but we thought we'd do something small. We'd finally get around to opening bank accounts for the children. Except it was huge. We were opening three accounts. And because they're insane they put us with someone in training. She was clearly at the beginning of her training. But then, oops, the person training her didn't know how to open this type of account, and did it wrong, so we had to start again. We spent over an hour in a very small office with two workers, two parents, and three children. (Only four chairs though.) I suspected we may all go crazy.

The good news was that we made it through, and our kids were very well behaved. The boy made it about 30 minutes before he started to crack. Babs made it 45 minutes. Then Kiddo jumped on the band wagon, until my good husband dangled ice cream as a reward, and they all found the remaining minutes of good behavior needed. Had we known, or even suspected, it would be that long we would have brought things for them to do, or brought them individually, or something!

The other good news is that it is finally done. One thing off the long term to-do list done. Only a billion left to go...

changes

You know that meeting? With all the talking? It was (as we suspected) a massive realignment of borders of units throughout the stake (two were unaffected, the other nine were.)

In an unexpected twist (for me at any rate) was the dissolution of my ward, sending some to the west, and some to the east. We will now be heading to a different ward, in a different building, at a different time (although luckily the building is no further away, just a different direction). Our new ward is one that was the most impacted, so there will be a lot of settling going on.

Babs has some friends her age coming along. Kiddo has none. I have some friends coming along, but I also have some that I am leaving behind.

My husband and I both thought we were in callings that we would be in for a long time, financial clerk and primary chorister, but now we get to try new things.

Which I guess is what church is all about, keeping the doctrine wherever you go, but having new people, new friends, and new responsibilities along the way.

I told my husband the evening after the announcement: "Rock, paper, scissors, for who goes to nursery with the boy, and who goes to primary with Babs." But I'm pretty sure he'll go with the boy, since they've been doing church together for 18 mos. now, and I'll go with Babs. Yay.

christmas traditions

This will be our second Christmas at home (not including the time Kiddo was born, for which I was present in body only), and we are still working out what Christmas traditions we find important. I guess you could say we are still working on our Christmas script.

But, we do a few things consistently. We go an hour west to a tree farm to buy a "real" tree. It was medium cold this year (last year was bitterly cold), so they were happier than sometimes (well, some of them anyway). 

We attend our ward Christmas party, where the girls may or may not visit with Santa, who makes them extremely nervous. This was as close as they would get. The party falls close to Kiddo's birthday.

We also have two birthdays earlier in the month to make sure our attention is split in as many ways as possible.

And to think, it's not actually Christmas yet!

the first decade

In August, my good husband and I celebrated our 10th anniversary. Although we spent months considering what we should do for this major event, we finally decided (okay, I decided, and he didn't disagree) that we would wait and do something special another year. After all, isn't 11 (or 12) years of marriage just as impressive? This year seemed too busy, and too awkward with a baby, who isn't really a baby, so he can be uncomfortable with others, and miss us.

I meant to wax poetic about my lovely family and my amazing husband, but I have a child who can't fall asleep, so I'm going to be a mom, instead of just talking about it.

I hope they call me on a mission

Did you know that sometimes blogger just can't figure out how to turn pictures correctly? This is one of those times.

This is my boy, wearing his awesome shirt-tie (age: 2 months). (He wore it once, because by the time we took him to church, he had outgrown it. It's not buttoned to the top, his neck was too big. But still awesome!) I never expected to have a boy. Oh, well, maybe when I was young, because having only brothers for a long time, I figured I knew about boys, but not about girls. But then in college I realized that I would have girls, because I was good at being female. I knew how to balance the art of nurturing and helping with ambition and smarts. (Now, if I could only do my hair and make-up then I would be truly amazing, but luckily I have friends and family who can help with that.) I expected I would have girls. And I did. By the time child number three was coming, I just expected more of the same.

Plus we were good at girls.We had lots of girl clothes, and lots of girl toys, and lots of pink, pink, pink everywhere. So when the ultrasound technician announced it was a boy, there was some silence on our part.

So now 10 months after learning I would have a boy, as he's approaching six months of age, I am still wrapping my head around this concept. He doesn't whine, he growls. He doesn't look at toys, he bangs them. We have a baby toy with leaves that go in circles, he tries to pull them off. He is clearly a boy (although a boy who rarely pees when his diaper is open, huzzah!) and I keep realizing that this means that he will be parented differently - largely because he will be different. (Not that the other two don't need vastly different parenting styles...) Maybe I really mean he will be taught differently, that his future holds different expectations.

Kiddo is old enough to talk about what she will be when she grows up. She used to want to be an artist, but now she wants to be a mom. (Babs of course has always wanted to be a mom, with six kids, I believe.) I encourage her in this desire. But I also want her to think about what additional things she will do. Motherhood is paramount, but there is a need for an education, or a trade, her other passion.(Did you know your mom has an advanced degree? I used to be a teacher?) Motherhood is enriched by having more experiences than just being a child. And motherhood often doesn't come on our timetable. And although I hardly believe it right now, there are other seasons of our life... Perhaps a mission for them too?

I will tell my son about the priesthood, and honoring it. I will talk to him about his upcoming mission (only 18 years away). I will explain about supporting his family, taking care of his family, but taking care will mean something quite different to him than it will to the girls. I am overwhelmed by this, because this is not the life I lived. Thank goodness I can point him to his father, and his grandfathers as examples of men who magnified their responsibilities as men in the Gospel. There are people in his life who understand his story.

I want them all to know we all have our roles and responsibilites. And I want them to be prepared to fill them.

we're okay

Let's be honest. I'm exhausted. My husband is exhausted. And these two kids just keep moving merrily along in their life, with enough energy to make me wonder...

I'm now almost 7 months pregnant, and he is a mover. I failed my preliminary gestational diabetes test, and basically fretted for two weeks until I heard back about  my longer test (which made me sick, sick, sick), and know that I do not have gestational diabetes. I am so grateful. During the interim I had my second ultrasound (since I'm of advanced maternal age and all), in which I was offered undeniable proof that he is a boy. Maybe someday soon he'll have a different name than "baby brother." All this does make me less functional than I wish I could be. But, I am meeting my primary goals of feeding the children every day, and that's all I can ask for.

My husband is wishing that this move would actually end. Because of Memorial Day, our physical possessions should be removed by the end of the weekend, so then we can just clean, and be done. Did I mention we found some mold, actually quite a bit, as we moved out? We're grateful that's not our problem. My husband is an amazing worker, and just keeps getting this project done. (He's also primarily responsible for the unpacking on this end, so that's energy sapping too.)

Kiddo is, of course, doing great. She seems absolutely fine that preschool is done (possibly because this week has been very, very busy) and play wells with her little sister every day. I've signed her up for swimming lessons, which she loves. She gave the spiritual thought in primary last week, and did a fantastic job. She even added a portion of her talk from when we practiced (not really a surprise) so she could show the picture that she had drawn in Sacrament Meeting. She drew a picture of "Brave CTR girl. It's me." She wrote that entire caption herself (I probably helped her spell brave), including the apostrophe. I love that girl.

This week we did kindergarten orientation. Kiddo is ready to go, and loved her whole experience in the classroom. I am not. First off, I don't worry like other parents (and of course, that worries me). But my real concern, and this is serious, is Who will entertain my three-year old while Kiddo is at kindergarten next year? Babs and I don't have a together time routine. I guess we should, because Kiddo has been in preschool for a year, but we don't. Maybe she'll be really good with baby brother...

And Babs. She has thrown significantly less tantrums this week. But, she's also had a nap almost every day, which means she doesn't fall asleep until 9 or 10 (which may be driving her father crazy). Because of the very busy week we've had she's been primarily in pull-ups (oh, and she's still reluctant about the 2nd half of the process) and we have seriously backtracked in potty training. I am giving us this next (considerably quieter) week to get things back under control before I give up again.

She is also signed up for swimming lessons. The first week she participated, but looked mad and betrayed most of the lesson, and told me afterward how scary it was. The next week she refused to even enter the pool. I offered a lot of bribes, none of which enticed her. (That child won't be bribed. It's just something about her.) So the manager and I discussed our options. We then took the kids to family swim that weekend. By the end of an hour in the pool, Babs loved the water. And, week three of swimming lessons went fine. She still wasn't sure about all of it, but at the end told me how brave she was to participate, not how scared she was. Plus, she got her "dunkin donut" so that also helped. (That would be the bribe that didn't work until she was ready for it to work.) (And Kiddo, ever a good sport, gets the reward if Babs earns hers. Kiddo asked if she got a donut after swimming lessons, and I had to tell her it depended on Babs, because I'm just not mean enough to stop and get a donut for one kid and leave the other kid out, especially when the first kid doesn't need an enticement to go spend 30 minutes in the pool.)

And Babs wears a silly hat (sometimes). You can see it in the picture above. My ever wise husband got it off before church by insisting that we don't wear hats when we pray. She is a funny little girl, with a real sense of humor, and uses it a lot. Which is good. We need to laugh.

our valentine's ritual

Nine years ago (really? nine?) my husband and I were not married, not dating, and had just spent hours going to and from the temple. We stopped at a Wendy's on the way home, and unknowingly ordered the same thing. To say I was having a rough weekend would be an understatement. To say I was slightly hyper would also be an understatement. He sat across from me, and opened an identical sandwich to mine.

"Spicy chicken buddies!" I exclaimed, a little overexcited for the situation. To his credit, he did not run, but instead smiled back at me.

Since I realized I loved him the next night (he'd known he loved me for a while), and we got married six months later, I often think of that moment at a key moment in the start of our relationship. (Actually the whole weekend was key, but that's another story.) So I drag him to Wendy's every year for Valentine's Day. I also make him bring the kids.

After all, it's not just him and me that started that weekend, it was our whole family (all 4 1/2 of us).

(Wouldn't this be a great place for a recent (candid or professional) family photo? I'm pretty sure the last one was taken months, possibly years ago. I should work on that.)