long term to do list

We have a list of things we'd like to get around to doing, but usually don't because we're busy doing the short term to-do items (e.g., feed children, get them to school, buy groceries) or the crisis items (are those termites? let's call a pest control person).

But last Saturday, for Babs' first day as a well person, we weren't ready to do big activities, but we thought we'd do something small. We'd finally get around to opening bank accounts for the children. Except it was huge. We were opening three accounts. And because they're insane they put us with someone in training. She was clearly at the beginning of her training. But then, oops, the person training her didn't know how to open this type of account, and did it wrong, so we had to start again. We spent over an hour in a very small office with two workers, two parents, and three children. (Only four chairs though.) I suspected we may all go crazy.

The good news was that we made it through, and our kids were very well behaved. The boy made it about 30 minutes before he started to crack. Babs made it 45 minutes. Then Kiddo jumped on the band wagon, until my good husband dangled ice cream as a reward, and they all found the remaining minutes of good behavior needed. Had we known, or even suspected, it would be that long we would have brought things for them to do, or brought them individually, or something!

The other good news is that it is finally done. One thing off the long term to-do list done. Only a billion left to go...

thoughts from the park

School starts in 5 days. So I asked Kiddo if there was anything she'd like to do. "Go to the park?" she asked. Okay. So after the Boy's nap, off we went.

Part of the reason she wanted to go to the park is because she *finally* learned how to swing on her own, and wanted to practice. Because I am so ready to not push her any more, I wanted her to practice. She sang a happy song and swung for a really long time.

The Boy brought two books to the park. He was much more interested in being read to and wandering around the park with his two books than the swings, the slides, or climbing around.

And as I watch Babs emerge from the slide I thought: When did my little girl get so long and lean? Where did my little brick go? I guess she is old enough to go to kindergarten... even if I still wish it were half day.

christmas traditions

This will be our second Christmas at home (not including the time Kiddo was born, for which I was present in body only), and we are still working out what Christmas traditions we find important. I guess you could say we are still working on our Christmas script.

But, we do a few things consistently. We go an hour west to a tree farm to buy a "real" tree. It was medium cold this year (last year was bitterly cold), so they were happier than sometimes (well, some of them anyway). 

We attend our ward Christmas party, where the girls may or may not visit with Santa, who makes them extremely nervous. This was as close as they would get. The party falls close to Kiddo's birthday.

We also have two birthdays earlier in the month to make sure our attention is split in as many ways as possible.

And to think, it's not actually Christmas yet!

this is the way we walk to school...

...except this is actually on the way home. Babs is really into the stroller now, so it comes with us. But, by the time we get Kiddo, she's too busy running around, so they situate themselves on the stroller, and I push. And the Boy loves his carrier. He starts bouncing when he sees me put it on, he's so anxious to get in.

I'm always tired when we get home (I wonder why), and usually a bit grumpy. I need to figure out how to do this without the grumps. But I haven't figured that out yet.

can't get enough of this

long time ahead

There is supposed to be actual snow tomorrow (not an inch of snow, covered by ice, like we got on Sunday), so after school, I dragged my three little people to Target to buy snow pants for Kiddo. So with the Boy in his carrier in the cart, Babs hanging off the back, and Kiddo "helping" me push, we moved from the parking lot to the store. I am very sensitive to the fact that kids move at their own pace, and I put a lot of effort into not stopping right in the entrance or exit of a store, or any other place where flow is important. I am often thwarted by Babs, who seems determined to stop in those exact places (yet is content to run like a banshee every where else).

Today was typical, I had finally pushed all three of them into the store when I have to stop suddenly so I don't run over Babs who has gotten off the cart. I strongly encouraged her to get back on, so we can get out of the doorway when I had to pull the cart to a quick stop again. This time it was to avoid running into the people ahead of us, who were also disrupting the flow.

It was a mom and her three kids, except her three kids were two teenagers, and one preteen (tween?). She was not shepherding them, just walking, assuming they would follow. The kids were laughing and talking in that non-guarded way that tells you they are friends as well as siblings, and have forgotten momentarily that their sworn duty as teenagers is to be cooler than their family.

I had a few thoughts at that moment: So this problem of stopping in front of others will never go away. That is my future. I want my kids to still like each other.

My three are so small, but they won't always be. I know that, but I'm not sure I understand that. Today was a good reminder. 

priorities

This is my boy. He weighed 14 lbs at his last check-up, two weeks ago. He is 97th percentile height and weight. So the fact that he refuses to sleep in his crib, except at night (thank goodness for that), and needs to be rocked to sleep either in my arms or my new Ergo carrier (thanks to my grandma for the money for it!) cramps my style. At least he smiles like this at me. And coos a lot. He likes me, but I think I deserve it.

In addition, I have two girls. One is largely self-sufficient, especially since she is at kindergarten for most of the day. But, there is an intense hour in the morning trying to get all of us out the door so she will be on time, and then a rigid end time where I have to be there again to get her home. (Whoever said 'never wake a sleeping baby' clearly only had one child - possibly two, but definitely not three.)

The other refuses to potty train, and two mornings a week attends preschool. For reasons that can only be described as personal revelation, it is a preschool I am running. (Although thankfully I only teach every three weeks. There is a reason I am not a preschool teacher.) 

In addition we have this house. I spent all my free moments, and many of my non-free moments, for two weeks cleaning it, in preparation for the visit of family for the Boy's blessing, then a semi-annual brunch we host. My visiting teacher and friend even came over two days to help me clean. You cannot tell that I did that... Well, maybe if you squint you can, we're slightly better organized, and thanks to my dad the good will stuff we had is gone.

My point is that I have no time. My "free time" is spent nursing a baby, or playing dolls with my three-year old, or perhaps sleeping just a bit, or feeding myself, so I can feed my baby. Am I poorly organized? Am I unrealistic in what I should be doing? Have I forgotten that all I really should be doing with an infant in the house is cooing back at him? I think so.

the thousand words

This picture illustrates two major themes of my life right now.

1) This is the last day that all three of my kids are home together as a rule, instead of an exception. Kiddo starts school tomorrow, and while there will certainly be plenty of days where they are all home again (like say, the day after tomorrow, which is a Saturday), most days Kiddo will be at school. What will our life be like, just me, Babs and the boy? What is the new normal?

2) My house is a mess. I spend much of my "free" time working on the mess, but it's like bailing in a rainstorm with a thimble - less effective. Part of the mess is the girls that enjoy their toys a lot (a good thing). Part of the mess is that not everything has a place, or is unpacked in the right spot. Mostly we use our time differently. I remind myself that we have years here to find order, so be patient. Also, the major place I spend my time currently is on that little head just peeking out of the swing. I feed him. I hold him. He prefers to nap in my arms, and the swing is only sometimes an acceptable substitute.

But he is only this small once. So I am trying desperately to locate the fine line between enjoying him in my arms as much as possible, and not going crazy that this 10 lb child is the only thing I do. I recite often the important lines: "I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep."

milk for all

We finally got both girls to bed at the right time last night, largely to a) improve Babs mood (to avoid further 20 minute screaming fits like last night) and b) get Kiddo on her school schedule, ready for kindergarten on Friday. The dark side of getting them to bed on time is they wake up on time, so every one was up by 7:30. (This will be a blessing on Friday, but today I had spent the last three hours partially asleep, partially soothing the boy, so I was, I mean, AM, tired.)

So there I was on the couch, nursing the boy, then Kiddo emerges, and requests chocolate milk from her dad, and settles next to us. Not long after, Babs stumbles out of bed, and also requests chocolate milk. She curls up on my other side. All my little ones, sharing the couch with me, drinking their morning milk.

(Wouldn't a picture be swell? Well, we weren't all decent...)

90 minutes

I took all three kids out today. Grandma was here too, so I will give credit where credit is due, and say we took all three kids out. (Because there was more than one time that I needed the second adult.) This was the first time. From all of us basically waking up, it took an hour and a half to get every one dressed, fed, and to the car. This felt extraordinarily long to me. Is it because I had to feed the boy twice? Is it because I only managed this time because I had extra help? Is it because I'm petrified of what we'll need to do in one short week when Kiddo starts kindergarten (with no additional back-up)?

I don't know, but it was a long 90 minutes.