Yesterday, I registered her for what I call in my head "official preschool." They asked four or five social/emotional development questions, all of which could have had the same answer: it's complicated. Yes, she throws tantrums. No, I've never known of one to happen in response to an adult who is not her parent (or serving in a parental role). She is suspicious of other children, except when she really likes them. Are you an adult? She will either ignore your efforts at interaction while willing you to disappear, or she will talk to you for hours. It is not clear what moves an adult from outer to inner circle, or anyone for that matter. My daughter will never be easy to pin down (figuratively or literally).
Some funny moments:
A few days ago she announced that she had waited long enough, and she wanted her "childs right now!" I can't help but think you should at least be able to wipe your own bottom before you take on other peoples.
There are many words we ask her not to say, like swear words (luckily she only knows one so far), shut up, hate, and ugly. Mostly we don't like these words because we can only handle "I HATE this dinner!" so many times. But she hears them in her TV shows (intense ones like My Little Pony) and her music (that Sandra Boynton), so then we discuss them. Today her baby doll was saying about the things she hated. (This is not the first time Babs has used her dolls as scapegoats to see what she can get away with in terms of inappropriate language.) I tried vainly to explain the difference when it's okay and not, and this was Babs' summary, "Baby's mom doesn't letter her use the word hate either, so she says it differently. She says it in Spanish."
We checked out the book "Suki's Kimono" from the library. It's a sweet book about a girl going to school for the first time, and wearing her kimono because it makes her feel special and remember her grandmother, even though all the other kids suggest she should wear other clothes. Finally, she is accepted for who she is. This is Babs' take away:"My favorite characters are her sisters." "Why?" "Because their clothes are so awesome!"
(Babs and her tape. She loves it, and will use as much as I let her, then just a little more.)
