Kiddo wanted to watch YouTube on my iPhone during Saturday conference, so I told her sure. She loves watching toy reviews for play-doh on it. I then sent her into the other room, so I could hear conference. About 20 minutes later my husband found her watching a video of a video game, one which can only be described as inappropriate. We're pretty sure she didn't know what she was seeing, but she still saw it. Although I have been careful with what they watch on YouTube, and how they watch it, with that one moment of less vigilance, everything changed. Now we've established tighter rules on her watching. (Which frankly she loves. She watches it with me now, so she gets my undivided attention in a way that makes me want to scream, and seems perfect to her.)
This afternoon she pulled her dress off her shoulder, explaining to me that it was prettier that way. I just replied (continuing a conversation theme we pick up now and then), with less patience than usual, is that what it did was make her look immodest. And I told her to pull it back up. She responded by ducking down where I couldn't see her (her response when she thinks she's in trouble), then running to her room saying "I'll show you what I mean!"
I rolled my eyes, and started wondering a) what I'd find when I followed her to her room, and b) where she picked up that showing her shoulder was a pretty thing to do?
She ran back in wearing her dress with the halter top (that she has always worn with a shirt underneath) without a shirt. "See mom, like this." And then I just got sad. Why does my 4-year old think she looks prettier with her shoulders showing? and for that matter with make-up, and probably nail polish? It is impossible that she got this message from me. We live a sheltered life, but apparently it is not sheltered enough.
Now we need a real conversation about modesty, not only what it is, but why it is. And some serious contemplation about how to teach her about her beautiful amazing body that does not go on display. And a major sigh that it is starting so soon, when she understands so little.
